Everyone has a role model or someone you look up to or admire. According to Wikipedia, a role model is a person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, especially by younger people. Your role model may be a renowned celebrity or a successful person from your dream work or even your family member.
We want to work like them, dress like them, and even talk
like them. We want to have same views as theirs’. We want to respond to
situations the same way as they do. Sometimes we tend to change our likes and
dislikes according to them.
But in the race of tracing the trails of our role model, the
essence of originality is left behind. We tend to follow them so blindly, that
at times, we cannot recognize ourselves. It may end up into a vicious play of
Due to this we tend to pretend something which we are
actually not. Following our role model blindly may land us in situations of
frustration as a result of futile trials to become like one.
The truth of life lies in the fact that everyone is different, special in their own way; everyone has a way with one or the other thing. You are unique, just one of a kind. So why are we wasting our precious time and energy in being something which is not in our basic nature?
It is well said “ BE YOURSELF”. Be yourself actually means to
behave or act in accordance to your basic nature. Suppose you have that
instinctive knowledge and love for music, beats and you have a raw voice which
needs a little polish to come up with something great. You like to create
music; something which is original. Instead of this inherent knack, you are
pushing yourself into sports and athletics just because your father was an
ideal sportsperson and you want to be like him.
“The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white, neither need you do anything to be yourself. ” – Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher
Deviating from your basic nature makes it difficult to deal with life. It takes absolutely NOTHING to be yourself. So it is the easiest and the toughest job at the same time. Some ways to be yourself are-
1.Accept yourself for who you are – “stop assuming , start accepting”- whatever is it- good or bad, nice or ‘not so nice’ things about yourself. Feeling good for your strengths will increase your self esteem and accepting and working on your shortcomings makes you a better person.
“Being myself – I’m not doing it wrong; I’m just doin’ it MY WAY “
2. Have faith in yourself – You can either be your strength or weakness. It is totally your choice. Never try to bring yourself down because if you do it,then believe me ! you will surely succeed. If you believe in yourself strongly, everybody else will venture to believe in your belief.
3. Express yourself – start expressing yourself, and you will get to know a better YOU. It helps you to be aware of your own ideas, thoughts and opinions
4. Explore yourself – we should know our limits, then only we can go beyond them. Introspect yourself for the infinite possibilities that you have . This helps in experiencing the different versions of yourself ; comparing and selecting the best one will not remain a task then.
5.Revive the child in you – have you ever observed a child? You will see how carefree they are about what other people think of them. They have not yet been ‘socialized’ enough to feel the pressure to get an acceptance from the society. We tend to suppress our true nature out of the fear that people will judge you. Just ask yourself , “even if I am being judged by the society, how does it matter to me? Will it make any difference to me?” Asking these questions to the ‘REAL YOU’ and not the ‘SOCIALIZED YOU’ will give the true answer.
So what are your experiences about being yourself ?
There are thousands of reasons to feel sad and dejected, and only one reason to smile and
feel happy. This only reason is – YOU. Only you can make yourself happy or sad.
Because it is totally your decision. You are the master of your own emotions.
Here are five ways to
help you find your happiness within yourself-
1.”Take it easy bro.”- When anyone asks you for a suggestion related to their life,
you give an honest and non judgmental
opinion and that too very easily. But when it comes to your own life
decisions, out of nowhere, you become very serious .As a result, your miniature
problem becomes king size, just because of your point of view. So try to see
your problems just as a third person would see it. Then you can make quality
decisions in life.
NOT THAT TOUGH AS YOU THINK, SO DON’T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
2. “Stay away from expectations”- expectation is the
greatest evil of our lives. It is never the situation that causes grief. We
ourselves are the CULPRIT. We do not see ourselves for who we are, rather we
see ourselves for who we want to be. When it comes to the question of what we
want to become in life, the question misleads us to think of a final position
in life. But the truth is, it’s a journey and not a destination.
3. ”Don’t try to figure out everything” – although you must have an idea, never try to figure out your future, because you will never be able to do that. Life is unpredictable. You never know what happens the next moment. At every turn, life has something new in store for you. It never fails to surprise you.
So what to do? Here comes the mantra of life, JUST GO WITH
THE FLOW. Don’t just get stuck at a place. Keep moving. Just live in the
moment. Think what suits you now? What is your love? What makes you happy? ,
then work on it. Don’t try to picture yourself in future . It will cause more
stress and disappointment than good.
Destiny will drive you to your destination. So just keep
going on with your actions.
EXPECTING AND START EXPLORING
4. “It is always the journey that counts and not the
destination”- Your happiness must not
depend on your success or failure. For example- situation 1: John is working hard for
achieving the best employee award and the associated raise. But he doesn’t love
his work. He is just working to get the
raise and then be “happy”. This means if he fails to get the raise , he will
remain sad as he was during the entire course of work.
Situation 2: Jenny is also working hard for the same raise.
But she loves her work. That means even if she fails to get the raise, she will
be happy, as she did her work efficiently. Her work experience is the reason
for her happiness.
SO CONNECT YOUR HAPPINESS TO THE THINGS WHICH ARE ETERNAL. ISOLATE YOURSELF FROM TRANSIENT FORMS OF HAPPINESS.
5. “Be observant”- It
is well said that “ordinary is extra ordinary”. Use your senses to enjoy the
simplest joys in life like warmth of sunlight in winter mornings, listening to
your favourite song, seeing the squirrels’ play etc. All these inconspicuous
things will create moments of significant happiness in your life.
I hope all these suggestions, based on experiences will help you.
Shiraaz got a back paper in the semester exam of economics, he said, “I am depressed”. Jennifer didn’t get her pocket money this month and she couln’t buy her favourite dress. To this situation, she said,” I am depressed”. For many of us, this is the most common phrase we use in our daily lives. But do you really think that your present situation of sadness is worth of using this phrase? It may be , but most of the times it is not. Depression is something more grave in its depth .
“I don’t fear death so much as I fear its prologue: loneliness, decrepitude, pain, debilitation, senility. After a few years of those, I imagine death presents like a holiday at a beach”. – Mary Roach, renowned author.
Depression is basically a mood disorder. Now that doesn’t
mean that a person in “BAD” mood is depressed .It is much more than the feeling
of sadness. Depression is a serious medical condition in which the person has
this constant feeling of being hopeless and anxious .Other symptoms may include
insomnia, incompetence, loss of interest in activities .It interferes with his
or her daily routine activities.
“Depressed” isn’t the person who is screaming out for
help. It is the silent person who is fighting a never ending battle with
It is not necessary that the saddest person in the
room is depressed, or he is the melancholy person who nobody wants to talk to.
Many a times, the most unexpected person comes out to be depressed. The one who
seems to be very happy may have become successful in convincing you that they
are happy; or they are trying to convince themselves to be so.
doomed in darkness can feel the tender touch of sunlight. A person who is
getting suffocated by his own thoughts has the right to take a breath of fresh
air. Yes, depression is something which can be cured. It must be treated just
as any other disease for which you go to the doctor. The doctor (psychiatrist)
will help that person to free himself from this intricate cage and will enable
him to lead a normal, happy and carefree life.